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I used to be one of those door mat people. You know, the kind of person who allowed others to just walk all over me. The kind of person who allowed the words, negative comments and criticisms of others affect me. I would take these words to heart, and allow them to tear me down. I BELIEVED these idiots!
Well. Not anymore. And not ever again.
Let me tell you something. If someone who claims to be your friend, to love and care about you, and yes – even family – does nothing but criticize you or try to tear you down, stand up and tell them to go take a long walk off a short pier.
Unless they support you, give positive feedback, and sure, CONSTRUCTIVE criticism, they need to go. Period. Bye Felicia.
Anyone who has only negative comments and criticism, or judges you and puts you down in any way, does not deserve to be a part of your bubble. Kick them out. If nothing else, avoid them, or make it clear to them that unless they have something positive to say, they need to zip their lips.
Two things here.
1. People need to stop thinking they have the right to tear others down, no matter what the reason is.
2. Stop giving ANYONE the power to make you feel anything other than the amazing, one of a kind person you are.
We all have our strengths and weaknesses
No one is perfect, okay. No one is great at everything. We all have our own unique and special talents and skills. Sometimes we want to travel outside of that comfort zone, and that’s a GOOD THING. Does that mean you’ll be instantly amazing at it? Probably not. The thing is, you won’t know though, unless you try. Not only that, plenty of things just take time and practice.
Any time any of us does something new or for the first time, we have to LEARN HOW. Then we have to take time to practice. This is like, the only way we grow as humans. If everyone was afraid to try new things, no one would be doing anything. I guess we’d all be just sitting around staring at each other. Who knows.
My point is this.
If you allow negative comments and criticism from others stop you from trying something new, or going after something you want, you’re essentially allowing them to control your life. You’re allowing them to prevent you from giving yourself a chance. Why would you do that?
Seriously. Stop and think about that for a moment. Why would you allow others to have that kind of power over YOUR life?
I had to ask myself that very question. The first thing I had to do was realize how much power I really was allowing others to have over my thoughts, my decisions, my self-esteem and self-worth. When the truth of what I was doing, what I WAS ALLOWING smacked me in the face, I was pretty pissed at myself.
Yeah, I was angry at the people in my life doing this to me, but ultimately, it wasn’t their fault. It was mine. I allowed it. I believed it. Basically, I was teaching others how to treat me. On top of that, I believed the garbage they spewed at me about myself.
Once I finally figured this out, I knew why I allowed others to have the power they did over me, I understood why their negative comments and criticism affected me so much.
I had zero self-confidence, self-esteem and self-worth.
The first thing I had to do was learn how to love myself. How to accept myself for who I was, and recognize that I am actually pretty damn awesome. So that’s exactly what I did. I started taking care of myself, going to counseling, and worked on changing my thoughts and habits.
I had to retrain my brain, and learn how stop these negative thought patterns. You’ve all heard me talk about how important mindfulness and mindful thinking is. (I’m sure it can be annoying, but it’s true.) The reason it’s so important, is because when you are able to become aware of your thoughts, they become easier to change.
I can promise you, the moment you stop giving the negative comments, criticisms and judgments of others any power, is the moment your life will start to change. Who cares what they think? It’s not their life to live, it’s YOURS!
How I handle it
Now, when anyone tries to come at me with their negative b.s., I laugh and think about how I actually feel sorry for THEM. They are usually trying to bring you down because of their own insecurities, their own shortcomings. I take it and use it to my advantage. I become even more determined to push forward and turn my goals into realities.
Sure, if I’m having a bad moment, their words might get to me a tiny bit. I never let it last, I do not allow those words to take over. I will never again let someone else’s insecurities and fears control what I do or don’t do with my life.
We only have one life, one opportunity. If we spend our lives living just to make others happy, or based on what others think, are we really living? I don’t think so.
Remember these words: “Opinions are like assholes, everybody’s got one.” And that’s all the negative, critical b.s. people spew at you are. Opinions. Unimportant, unfounded, asinine opinions from people who are more afraid to live than you are.
Get your butt out there and live your life, YOUR WAY. Do what makes you happy, Don’t let anything stop you, not fear, not others, not even yourself. You CAN do anything you put your mind to. Believe in yourself. You’ll be amazed at what you’re capable of.