My Journey To Recovery
If you haven’t already, before you read part II, check out Feeling Lost and Confused: Part I to start from the beginning of my journey to recovery.
It’s been a little over a week since I wrote my post regarding my journey to recovery, and how I was feeling pretty lost and confused. Today I want to talk about my progress, and how I’m feeling this week.
I sat and thought about the things I wanted to try, that I was hoping would help me get through feeling so lost. I’ve started journaling my thoughts and feelings, and this has really helped a lot.
I started by writing down questions for me to consider. I didn’t want to overwhelm myself, so I started with three questions.
- How am I feeling as far as my depression and anxiety symptoms go?
- Have I fully dealt with the emotions I still had regarding things from my past?
- Am I making sure to practice mindfulness and self care?
I sat for awhile, and really thought about each of these questions carefully. Once I felt comfortable enough, I went through and wrote my honest feelings about each one. I then reflected on my responses.
I realize after going over my responses, I’m actually doing better than I think I am. I’m starting to see that I need to have more faith in myself. I haven’t given credit where credit is due. I have worked very hard in the last year and a half to get to where I am, and I am doing great.
More work ahead
I still have things to work on, I probably always will. I do notice that while most of my symptoms have gotten better, there is one that has suddenly amplified – my social anxiety. I have withdrawn more and more from others – as in, anyone outside of my home.
I’ve been avoiding social situations, even family, and going anywhere that involves being around a lot of people. I don’t know why, but if I had to guess, I’d say it may be because I’m doing so well. I may be afraid of failing when having to confront certain things.
I’m not sure this is definitely what’s going on, but it does make sense. I think I may be in self preservation mode. I just don’t want to go backwards.
I’m aware that I will still have ups and downs, good days and bad days. Not all of this will be attributed to my anxiety and depression either. Life is like a roller coaster sometimes, and that’s normal for anyone.
So, I see that I now have something new to work on. I’m going to continue to journal my progress, and explore meditation a little more. Just wanted to update everyone on my journey to recovery.
My hope is that in following me on my journey will help you with yours. I enjoy reading the progress of others, because it gives me hope and motivation, but also because you never know what small piece of information you may be missing.
And that piece could turn out to be the key!