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Guest article by: Brigitte Evans
Cosmetic Skin Care Consultant
Living in a world where every step of the way you find commercials that tell you you need a special cream and scrub to make yourself look good enough, it can be so hard to feel good about yourself.
Flipping through a magazine can be confusing when right after reading an article about loving yourself, you have one that tells you how to quickly get rid of your stomach fat to be “summer-ready”, as if there is only one acceptable way to have a body in summer. So let’s explore why we feel so much pressure to feel beautiful and how we can work on our confidence:
Realize where it is coming from
The first step in solving any problem is pinpointing where it stems from, and for our looks, it’s almost never ourselves. It’s either our family, our surroundings or the media we follow that tells us we’re supposed to look different, and we grow to internalize that into our thoughts and behavior.
It’s important to understand that the people around us might not be doing that on purpose, and it might not have even been directed at us: we grew up around our mother complaining about having cellulite, and even if it wasn’t told to us, we still grew up thinking about it, and learning that it’s a bad thing.
And pinpointing those triggers in your life that made you feel less beautiful and not good enough is the first step to tackling them and reclaiming your beauty.
Find the key problem areas
When we say “problem areas” it’s very important to understand that we don’t mean areas that are problematic because of the way they look, but because of the way they make you feel. Because whether we like it or not, we have to accept that we all have some things about us that bother us, and if we can’t accept them, it’s okay to change them in order for us to feel beautiful.
So if you are feeling insecure about your skin because you have acne, you can go to a dermatologist and see what can be done to minimize your acne. Or if your teeth have degraded in quality and aren’t giving you the look you want, with tech advancements there are now procedures such as All-on-4 dental implants that will allow you to have a smile you’re proud of again.
But it’s important to know exactly what’s bothering you, because then you’ll be able to draw a line and you won’t just be wanting to change everything about yourself or to look like another person.
Find what you love
Now that we’ve covered how to deal with the things that you didn’t love about yourself, now let’s focus on the things that you do love, because instead of badgering yourself and changing things you’re not happy with, by focusing on the parts of yourself that you love and growing them, you’ll feel so much better about yourself.
This goes both for your looks and your personality. We all have things that we don’t like, but the people who you see that are so confident and that you admire for their confidence, they just chose to focus on the good things. You can do the same. Choose your talents, your achievements and all the lovely parts about yourself and focus on making them even better and putting them forward.
Feed off other people’s energy
We all have a sort of feedback loop in our head, and that’s why the “fake it till you make it” works. If you are putting the best parts of yourself forward, even if you aren’t perfectly confident in them, people will respond positively to them, and their positive energy will make you believe in yourself more, amplifying your confidence.
And on the other hand, if you feel self-conscious and hide yourself away, without showcasing your good qualities, people will think that you are either shy or don’t have good qualities (which you absolutely do!) and you will feel that and grow even more into yourself.
Nobody is saying that growing your confidence is easy or that it will happen overnight, but if you accept that everyone is struggling with the same fight and you work on the things you can improve, you’ll start to see changes in no time.