How many of you have grown up with – and still deal with a mentally ill mom?
If you do have a mentally ill mom, what was it like for you growing up, and what is it like now?
Everybody’s experiences are different, and of course it depends on the mental illness, treatment and therapy, and other factors. Some of it also has to do with personality too.
Not every aspect of a person’s character and personality has to do with their mental illness.
My mentally ill mom was – and is – unfortunately quite difficult. Sadly, she did not receive a full and proper diagnosis. She was also either not recommended or chose not to attend any kind of counseling or therapy until recently. (I’d say just in the last few years.)
Here are some ways my mentally ill mom affected, and continues to affect my life –
- I struggle with anxiety and depression
- Low self-esteem
- Low self-worth
- Very few/poor coping skills, I have had to work extremely hard to learn better coping habits
- Wasn’t given much opportunity to just be a child, had to grow up quickly
- Developed an unhealthy and co-dependent mother/daughter relationship
- Didn’t realize until recently just how much her manipulation fooled me, always leaving me feeling guilty, even if I hadn’t done anything
- Anger issues as an adult, now being able to see the entire situation more clearly
- Frustration – My mom has a very blurred line regarding her perception of things versus reality
- She’s toxic for me – but she’s also my mom. I struggle with this very much.
I could go on, but this is a basic idea of how her mental illnesses have and continue to impact my life. She is also very good at convincing other family members that there’s something wrong with ME when she’s angry with me.
Example – She recently got angry with me over a disagreement about my younger brother. She told me she disowned me as her daughter and no longer wanted me to speak to her (for the millionth time in my life).
And now has been telling everyone that I have been ugly to her for no reason, that she didn’t know what was wrong with me, so she was giving me some space.
Like. What? No…no, that’s not at all how it went…
And this is what it’s like for me. Please tell me there’s someone out there who can relate.