Feeling Down and Lost

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Jessica

Sometimes I have days where I’m feeling down and lost, and unsure of myself.

Since I’ve been on this journey of finding myself, and getting better, I’ve gotten to a place where I feel in limbo. That’s the only way I know how to describe it. I’m not where I used to be, yet, I’m not completely where I need to be. Does that make sense?

I have many more better days now, but every now and then, I’ll have a day where I’m just feeling down and lost, and unsure of myself. Because I’m changing (for the better), other aspects of my life are changing too, and it’s a little scary.

I think part of the reason is that I’m not sure how much will change as I continue to better myself and grow as a person. Can anyone else relate to these feelings?

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    Harriet

    Hi there Jessica, I’m Harriet. I’ve just come across your blog via iam1in4 and have really enjoyed various of your posts (especially the one with the quotes). I have bipolar type 1 and quotes have helped me through a lot. 😊 Anyway I can relate to feeling lost. I too have made so much progress which I am really proud of and on my good days things are good but I have other days (I call them my bipolar blue days) when (in a nutshell) the uncertainty of my future combined with other things proves too much, triggering my anxiety which can leave me feeling lost and hopeless. Sometimes prove easier than others to pick myself up out of these “blips” and I have an amazing medical team and support network to help me. However I was wondering if you have any tips to help pick yourself up out of your darker moments? I am currently in a bit of a blip and despite ticking everything off my feel good list (dog walking, feel good playlist, life & sleep routine, no drinking, self care treats...) I’m not able to shake these blues as quickly as usual. Thank you for your writing and sharing your story. Love and light. H xo 🍍

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      Hi! I'm so glad you found me! I'm sorry you're going through this darker moment. Those are definitely the hardest, and tend to be the hardest to fight. This may sound weird, but sometimes, I allow myself to fall into these darker moments. I do this to allow myself to feel everything, and as a reminder of how horrible they can be. I only give in for a little bit, and then I decide it's time to get up, I know I cannot stay there. I find that doing something new and different can help when the darker times try to take over, once I've allowed myself to acknowledge that it's there. I try to choose something I don't normally do, and push myself to do it. I keep reminding myself that it's a temporary feeling, and just like every other time I find myself here, it will pass. Just remember, it's ok to have these moments, as long as you're trying, you're doing everything you can! Sometimes running away from it can make it more difficult to fight, which is why, for a brief moment, I do embrace it, as crazy as that seems. I hope I'm explaining it right, lol. If you're still having trouble, please don't hesitate to get in touch with me! I hope this will help, and I hope you'll be feeling better soon!!

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    Harriet

    Hi Jess, thank you for coming back to me and your kind words. I really appreciate it. I get what you mean and think it is really important to let yourself feel things in order to process them and move forward. However, I get so scared of being all consumed by the darkness as my biggest fear in life is falling into a deep despression again and not being able to come out as it can be such a bottomless pit and if I let go fully I’ll just go into free fall. I hope that makes sense.
    I can’t explain it fully but I hit one of the lowest points I’ve hit in a while this weekend but (now this next part sounds a little doolally but hey ho..) I asked the universe for some kind of help or a sign & just after writing to you on Monday something happened which shook me to the core and in some roundabout way seems to have lifted the dark cloud that was hanging over me. (Touch Wood things seem to be ok again)
    Thank you so much for your advice about trying something new. I’m going to give it a go and see what I can find to take up. I look forward to reading more of your posts soon and maybe correspondending. Love and light. H xo 🍍

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      I definitely believe in the power of the universe! I'm so glad you had that experience! I do know what you mean, it will consume me too if I'm not careful. Something else that really helps me is my self-awareness. I work hard to be very aware of myself and how I'm feeling. This helps too, because it helps prevent me from getting stuck. Of course, there are those times where it's a little more of a struggle than others. I'd love to keep in touch, and I'm hoping to have some new posts soon, I've been a little busier than usual lately. Please reach out anytime! :)

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    I'm having yet another moment in my life where I'm once again feeling down. Not lost so much anymore, but unsure about some things in my life right now. I know I'm going to have these moments from time to time, and I'm so glad I'm much more in control now than I used to be.

    Nevertheless, here I find myself feeling unsure about my life path. It's not a very good feeling to have, but it's not my first rodeo, and I'm sure it probably won't be my last.

    Anyway, just needed to vent a little...

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    Harriet Russell

    Dear Jess, I'm so sorry to hear you are going through a down moment. I feel for you as they can be so horrid. I'm so glad to hear from though. I know for me, venting sometimes goes a long way in getting a bit of clarity or it can quite simply it help get things out of my head.

    I know there is no magic wand for times like this (meh! ;) but just remember that although things seem down, it is part of your down moment, moment being the key word and therefore it will pass. It is fantastic that you are more in control of things than before and shows how far you have come on your journey, learning to recognise and manage triggers, adapt life routines.... and shows how strong you are that you keep going and coming back from it.

    As for feeling unsure as to your life path, I can relate to that, and know how worrying it can be. However something that has given me a little comfort is the thought that I think most people get a little disconcerted if they start to think/overthink about their life path/plan. Thinking about the future can be extremely daunting for anyone, add a dash of anxiety seasoned with depression into the mix and you have yourself a rather hellish concoction. So I find in these tricky moments when I get overwhelmed by the smallest of things, I just have to focus on making it through one day at a time, and not think about what is going to happen next week, next month, next year, the key is all about baby steps... and what am I going to do today. Small objectives, that I can achieve (even if it is tiny silly things) but it gives me a sense of victory and stops me spiralling into free fall thinking too far ahead.

    Thinking of you and hoping your moment passes soon. Love and light. H xo🍍

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      Thank you so much for your kind words of encouragement. I'm working on getting myself a little more together. I've been trying to remember to take deep breaths, and everything will work out as it should.

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    Harriet Russell

    Dear Jess, Breathing is an amazing tool at combating anxieties. Something that also works for me is once I've taken five or ten deep breaths is concentrating on tensing up my toes as hard as I can before relaxing them, then my feet, allowing myself to feel the ground underneath them, then tensing the muscles in my legs (i.e, if I'm sat on a chair, feeling the seat underneath me...), and working my way up my whole body, it helps ground myself in a moment if things get a bit too much. I hope this makes sense...?!

    Things have a funny way of working themselves out and being ok. Your dark cloud will lift soon, just like the weather changes. Love & light. H xo🍍

    P.s You made it through another 24 hours, what a SUPERTSAR! I know it's hard, but you got this and should be so proud of yourself. I am x

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      You are awesome! Thank you so much, it's always good to be reminded of these things. I will definitely try your breathing technique, I also found a few meditation videos I want to watch so I can practice that too. :)

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        Harriet

        Hey Jess. Just wanted to drop you a line to see how you are? How did you find meditation? Sending love and light on this Hallows Eve. 🎃 H xo 🍍

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          Hey there! I'm doing alright, hanging in there. It's been pretty busy for me lately. I swear it always feels like there's so much to do, and never enough time to get it done! Meditation is AMAZING. The relaxing effect it has on my body is wonderful. That's what's actually been helping me get through my chaos. How are you doing? Well, I hope! :)

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