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Anger and resentment are holding me back from moving forward in my recovery from mental health.
I know in order to continue to heal and recover, I have to learn how to let go of the anger and resentment I feel. I have to learn how to forgive my mother, and everyone who chooses to be blind to her behavior. And I absolutely have to let go of my anger.
Forgiveness doesn’t mean allowing her back into my life. Letting go doesn’t mean these things didn’t happen. I don’t need to do these things for her, I need to do them for me. My anger and resentment aren’t hurting anyone, except for me.
The hardest part is learning how to let go, learning how to forgive so I can move on. I’ve been trying to learn how to do this on my own, but so far I’ve been unsuccessful. I’m realizing I will need outside help to learn how.
The thing is, letting go of all of this anger and resentment I feel, letting go of the negative thoughts and feelings, is an absolute must. I feel like until I do this, I’m going to remain stuck.
I think this is one of the most difficult and frustrating things I’ve ever tried to do. I’ve been meditating, reading everything I can find about learning how to let go. These things are helping, but I feel like I’m missing some of the pieces. I think some of it is about working on myself, and getting myself to a better place.
It’s like you have to do this in steps. And you definitely need to have patience, because it is not an overnight transformation. I’ve wanted to give up, several times, but…I don’t. I’m going to make this happen for myself.
I refuse to let anger and resentment win
I deserve to make this happen for myself. I deserve to find inner peace and contentment. I am determined not to waste another moment of my life being miserable. I WILL NOT DO IT.
I’m going to keep going until I get it. And I know I’ll get it. If you’re struggling with feelings of anger and resentment, I promise, you really want to learn how to let them go. They will consume your life, eat your soul alive until there’s nothing left. Don’t let these thoughts and feelings win.
I made a video talking about my anger and resentment, and I share a little bit of what it’s like having a mother with Borderline Personality Disorder. I also wrote a post about my BPD mother, and her self-destructive subtype, “The Witch” if you’d like to learn more.
Here’s the video if you’d like to check it out. If you’d like to see more of my videos, just subscribe to my channel. Now remember, I’m a mess, so I really can’t say when I’ll publish a new video…
I truly appreciate the kindness and support all of you have given me. You have no idea how much it mean to me.