My Honest Thoughts

Confessions Of A Woman About To Lose Her Shit

the edge of losing my shit
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I’m about to lose my shit.

Or at least I feel like I’m about to lose my shit. Have you ever found yourself saying this, or even thinking it? If you have, then you’ll be able to relate to this post.

First, I want to say, I have come a long way from where I used to be. I am definitely not the same person I once was, and it’s taken a lot of hard work to get here. One thing I am not, however, is perfect. Even though I’m a lot better than I used to be, I still have those moments where I feel like I’m going to lose my shit.

When this happens, sometimes it catches me off guard. Here I am, thinking I’m doing so well, feeling like I have everything under control, and then BAM! Life smacks me in the face with a big dose of reality. Here come those familiar feelings – stress, anxiety, fear, disappointment, and overwhelm. They seem to work together to gang up on me all at once. I find myself wondering where it all went wrong. How did I manage to find myself here again?

I’ll tell you how I got here. I allowed it all in, allowed it to take hold of me and my emotions. You know what else I did? I wallowed in these feelings, which then led to the dreaded pity party. So now, here I sit, wallowing and feeling sorry for myself. My nerves are so on edge, I feel sick at my stomach.

on the edge of losing my shit

Why am I feeling like this? What happened to cause me to find myself dealing with all of these emotions?

I know exactly why, the problem is I don’t know what to do to change it. I don’t know how to deal with everything going on in my life right now. I’ve been trying so hard, but so far, nothing I have done seems to be working.

 

Where do I go from here?

When you’re doing your best, and you’re trying everything you can think of to make things work, it’s stressful. And when everything you’re doing doesn’t help the situation, it’s discouraging. Adding to this, you are also juggling your every day responsibilities, and it all becomes very overwhelming.

I don’t want to lose my shit, I really don’t. That’s the first step I suppose, deciding I don’t want to lose my shit. From there I am taking some deep breaths, and working on calming myself down so I can think more clearly. If I don’t stop and take the time to get myself a little more together, I will not be able to come up with a better way to approach the situation I’ve found myself in.

on the edge of losing my shit

Here’s what I’m going to do. I’m going to first identify what exactly is causing me to feel the stress and frustration. Once I do that, I’m going to come up with a plan to help me deal with these issues, and work on them one by one. I’m going to write out my plan so I am better able to understand exactly what it is I need to do. Writing it down will also help me keep track of what I want to do, and I can also keep track of my progress by marking off each item on my list as I get it done.

For the things I am unable to change in this moment in time, I am going to have to accept them for what they are. I am going to use these as motivational goals to work towards. I understand that some things take time, I just need to practice patience and have faith that everything will work out as it should.

 

the edge of losing my shit

 

 

Losing my shit won’t solve anything

If I allow these feelings to get the best of me, it will only make a bad situation worse. Instead, I’m going to choose to get a hold of myself, calm myself down, and refocus. By doing this, I will be able to put together a plan to help the situation, therefore helping myself.

The key word to remember here is choose.

We all have choices. Every single one of us have this capability. We may not always get to choose our situations, or what life throws our way, but we can choose how we react to them. Even if there are parts of our lives that are completely out of our control, we all get to choose how to handle them.

That doesn’t mean that life isn’t going to suck sometimes, and it doesn’t mean everything is always going to work out according to plan. It just means that instead of responding to things that happen in a negative way, we can choose a better way. We can choose to do what we can with the things we are given.


Even though I feel like I’m going to lose my shit, I’m going to choose not to. Instead I’m going to choose to slow down, and take some deep breaths. I’m going to choose to work out the kinks, and take what I have, and make it work as best as I can.

And then I am going to keep moving forward. I will take each day as it comes, and I will remember that tomorrow is a new day, and we never know what tomorrow may bring us. The things you choose have the ability to change your life.

~ Jess

 

 

 

on the edge of losing my shit

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